Your INNER FISH

from http://profile.ak.facebook.com/object3/21/112/n19931403485_2939.jpg

This is my Penn Reading Project, can you believe it?

Your INNER FISH

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Cool

Read this. It's so cool...... and funny. =P

Quoted from here.

XXXXXX

Something Americans might find interesting (and the rest of us will find funny!)
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Enjoy paying your taxes.

Why punctuation is important.
Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?

Gloria

---

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Gloria

How To Be A Gangsta (In 5 Simple Steps)

1. You have to master the swagger of your typical homie. Watch MTV for inspiration, then imitate the ridiculous walk of your favourite rap star.If you find yourself having difficulties, visualize yourself with a massive case of hemmorhoids, and/or a pickle shoved up your ass. A big pickle.

**CHECKLIST**

-- Are your feet wider apart than your shoulders?
-- Do you have a decided backwards slant to your torso?
-- Do your knuckles hit the back of your calves?
If so, then you can continue.

2. Language is very important. When attempting to fit in with the rap community, you must forget everything you have learned about the English language and how to speak it properly. It helps if you have some sort of speech impediment, preferably one which makes you sound like you have a mouth full of oatmeal at any given point. Remember, contractions are your new god. Practice at home, at the bus station, at school; anywhere you can.

TRANSLATION GUIDE:

yo'ma'ma = A derogatory term, used to insult your mother. (Note: this is supposed to incense you.)
word, y'all = Something roughly equivalent to hello. Variations on this are many:
what'up ho'mes; word to yo'ma'ma; yo y'all (pl. y'allz); what'up; what'da word from'da 'hood; and others.
you best be steppin' = You should leave, before the speaker decides to hurt you.
I'm a gon'open a can of whoop'ass on y'all = I will beat you up.
watch'or mouf, man = It would probably be a wise idea, when this is heard, to shut up.
mofo = Motherf***er, in the new hip short talk.
I gots ta bounce = Roughly equivalent to goodbye.
cruisin' = walking about aimlessly, shoving each other into old people and laughing uproariously, whilst calling each other mofos.

**CHECKLIST**

-- Do you use four-letter words within 30 seconds of each other?
-- Can you drop a syllable off of every word without thinking about it?
-- Can you omit words such as "of" and "to" with ease?
-- Would you be unintelligible to your aunts or uncles?
If not, you'd better practice a little more.

3. You'll have to acquire a g' name. 2-Pac is a popular one, as is Biggie. (For more information, see "people" section below.) Or, there's always shortening your name to the first letter of your first name, then adding an adjective. For example, there's Lil' J, or Big R. You can also go with just the adjective: Slim, Shorty, etc. You'll fit right in.

**CHECKLIST**

-- Does your name sound stupid?
Well, since this is the only evident requirement, on we go.

4. You'll need to be hip to the rap gurus of the moment. A commonly idolized rapper, 2-Pac, was shot some time ago. In the "softcore" rap crowd, Ma$e and Puff Daddy are really cool. Busta Rhymes, Lil' Kim, Biggie Smalls (also dead), Snoop Doggy Dog and Dr. Dre are also cult favourites. Feel free to mix 'n' match at will.

With the celebrities, come the "sides". There's Westside and Eastside. They have nothing to do with where you are on a map. To demonstrate your undying allegiance to the Westside, cross the two middle fingers on one hand, and wave that hand about profusely, whilst shouting "Wess'ide, man..Wess'ide!" This will go over big. The Eastside sign is formed by turning the previously-made W upside down, in the shape of an M. One will shout "Yo'mofos! Eass'ide rules!" or something of that ilk. Make sure, before you attempt the hand signs, that you're with a group of the same patriotism, or else you'll get a can of whoop'ass opened on you. Y'all, rather.

**CHECKLIST**

-- Can you name the past five rap stars to have gotten shot?
-- Can you wave your hands about with sufficient fury to give yourself carpal tunnel syndrome?
-- Are you scared of your own idiocy?
Let's hope so. These are crucial before moving on to the last section.

5. G' clothing is rather simple. For pants, all you need to do is cruise the local mall until you find a really fat person. Check out the waist size on his jeans, then head to the nearest store playing rap music to buy a matching pair. They must also be long. You'll know you've made a good buy when you have three yards of fabric bunched about your ankles. You must wear them low-slung as well. The prerequisite, an assumed few pairs of cool boxer shorts, should be mostly hanging out. But to complete your lower half, you must own a stylin' belt. The purpose of this belt is not altogether clear, save for it holds your pants firmly against your upper thighs and restricts movement, making the rap strut easier. Trust me.

As for what kind of pants to wear, army pants (in any, and all, colours), jeans, tearaways and cargo pants will all do nicely.

On your top half, you should wear shirts which would fit the fat man at the mall. At the same store where you bought your pants, you will find the bright colours that are a necessity to successful gangsta dress. Oranges, yellows, and greens are especially good. T-shirts are acceptable, provided they have sleeves that reach halfway down your forearm, and that they come at least halfway down your thigh. Sweatshirts should be almost as long, and have either Nike or Fubu emblazoned across the front. Never, EVER get caught dead in a sweater. Jackets are easy. All you need is something that's shiny, bright, and looks like it would fit a 300-pound Eskimo, as well as be suitable for said Eskimo's environmental surroundings.

For shoes, again, Nikes and Fubus are the best. Reeboks and Adidases are fine for the beginning g'. They have to have cost at least $150, and be shiny and bright. You might as well forget how to tie knots, because the gangsta who ties his shoes up, gets beat up. You can accessorize with one of those key chain straps (the ones that circle your neck) that seem to be all the rage. It must say Fubu on it, of course. A hat is good, as long as it's got one of the previously-mentioned trade names on it. Turn the hat sideways for extra respect. That's spelled R-E-S-P-E-C-T. You can always go with a handkerchief as well, with the hat or alone. Snoop Doggy Dog wears one, if you need celebrity reinforcement.

**CHECKLIST**

-- Could you put on 200+ pounds and not have it be noticed while dressed?
-- Could you fit your entire family into one single pantleg?
-- When you walk, are you perpetually close to tripping/falling over?
-- Is your shirt long enough to cover someone seven feet tall?
It appears, with the above questions answered affirmatively, that you've completed my tutorial and are now a fledgeling gangsta, prepared for the wide world of rap. Happy g'ing!

Check out the latest virus alert
*** VIRUS ALERT ***

If you receive an email entitled "Rumplestiltskin" delete it immediately. Do not open it. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetises the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the "Rumplestiltskin" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

I repeat.... do not open it.

How about some highly interesting (read useless) facts?
Coca-Cola was originally green.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that make them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.*.*.*. (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered the vocabulary.

Ponder these imponderables!
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

Instructions on how to install software - the truth!

HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE

1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software. It should look something like this:

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM

NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.

2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.

3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette or a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:

LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,....finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.

4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."

5. If you have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.

6. Turn the computer on, you idiot.

7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.

8. You will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:

The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
+-------+ +--------+ | YES | | SURE | +-------+ +--------+

9. After you make your selection, you will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a food processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."

10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:

CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. You may now attempt to run your software. If you experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, or intestinal parasites, you should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$.

11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.

12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.

XXXXXX

XD

Have a nice day. =)

TODAY I PRESENT...

Today, I present you...

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.......

...

.

PINK GUAVA!!!

Pic is a bit dark...=p but can still see it's pink right?

Last week, Airina, Yoke Peng and Jian Wei told me that they have never seen a pink guava before. And since pink guava is one of the nicest fruit ever (ya, it is!!!), I thought I should do it justice by introducing it to everyone.

On the outside, pink guava looks the same as the normal, white guava that you eat. However, on the inside, it is pink (so cute right?=)). It is juicier than the white guava and the texture is softer. It is still crispy (is that the right term?) but with a certain tenderness, which makes it nicer than white guava. Besides that, it is SWEETER!!! Now, who wouldn't like something that is sweet (not overly sweet la)?

So guys, try the pink guava!!! It's full of Vitamin C (the rind apparently has more Vitamin C than citrus fruits) and it's tasty.

Can't find one in West Malaysia? Come to Kuching, to my home. I have huge supplies here=)

Lateral Thinking

I got this interesting email last time. Maybe quite a number of you have tried it before. It's okay. Just let those who has never tried this to try. If you think you are smart, try this. If you think you are not smart, try this as well. Who knows you might turn out to be a smart person. =)

Let's see who can answer correctly the most questions . No cookie for correct answers though. =P I will post up the answers next time.

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.
Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

man
Q1. ---------
board

Ans. = man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

stand
Q2. ------------
i

Ans. = I understand

OK . . .
Got the drift ?

Let's try a few now and see how you fare ?

Q3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Q4. r
road
a
d

Q5. cycle
cycle
cycle

0
Q6. ---------
M.D.
Ph.D.

knee
Q7. ------------
light

(U can prove u r smart by getting this one. )

ground
Q8. ---------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet

Q9. he's X himself

Q10. ecnalg

Q11. death ..... life

Q12. THINK

And the last one is real fun……

Q13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...

a short post

subby and yoke peng are back!! teehee
won't be studying C++ this semester!! yes!!!!
will be going kuantan, airina's place this week!! hehe
i am happy! =)

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Hello, everyone!

This is my first post here. I was occupied with my own blog. Hence, a late welcome post here.
Welcome to Paprik Lovers. =)

Here is something to share with everyone. Take sometime from Calculus-ing, Chemistry-ing, Physics-ing, holiday-ing or whatever-ing and read this. It is totally good for your health since laughter is the best medicine. And thus, your grades will be great because you will have a healthy body to cope with study. Or, your days will be better since laughter made one's days nicer. =P

Just in case you are too stressed or too free......

Let me introduce you to our all time favorite man in this world.......

Ah Beng!

The Best of Ah Beng

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, "My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend : Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng : No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR : Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife : No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife : How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.

Ah Beng complained to the police : "Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house."
Police : "How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news..."

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man : This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng : If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher : "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

Ah Beng told his servant : "Go and water the plants!"
Servant : "It's already raining."
Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning.
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM.

Have a good laugh?

Yes. Great. =D
No. You have no sense of humor, Ah Beng. Just joking. =P

Have a nice day. =)

2 LUMPS GONE

I want to blog about the recent minor surgery I underwent, but I have no pics, nth, nil...

Therefore, just one announcement:

I HAD MY CYSTS REMOVED!!!

p/s: I felt like a doll when the doc sewed up my wound...

Why Can't We Fly Together?

Classes start today, but I’m at home.

It’s kind of sad to not be in the crowd anymore, to be leading a different path from everyone else.

It feels kind of weird, to not be able to walk up a floor and find Hui Theng in her room, or open my unit’s door and invite myself into Liz’s room. I won’t be seeing Airina in the bus anymore and there won’t be any more crazy Austin gathering. Jian Wei won’t come hitting my head every morn and Tim won’t sms me in the middle of the night asking for help in Calculus.

Many words to say, but I do not know how to express myself. So, here I express my thanks to everyone who has helped shaped my INTEC life into something memorable and enjoyable (I can’t believe I am using this word).

To Hui Theng,

Thanks for the laughter u brought to my life, the encouragement and support you gave me when I was waiting for results from the universities. Getting lost together, jogging before a paprik meal, pumping our first petrol are memories I will keep forever. Continue to follow God in your daily life, have faith in Him. I will miss you a lot.

To Airina,

I still remember the first interesting thing you told me about yourself. You said you can sneeze 11 times without stopping and I was flabbergasted! Not because it’s amazing (I mean, it is...), but because I sneezed 11 times continuously before too. Haha. I will miss shopping with you and I won’t forget the hardship we went through applying for ED/EA. Enjoy your last year in INTEC, you still have Hui Theng there. Stay compact=)

To Liz,

You were the one who stayed with me throughout the 3 semesters. Thanks for never refusing to help me even though sometimes, you need to go an extra mile just to help me. You are beautiful and smart, be confident of yourself. Even though you can get REALLY competitive sometimes, but that’s what I love about you. Strive on, baby! Never think that you are not good enough. I wish for a day that I will see you as someone who is confident with herself. HUGSSS...

To Yoke Peng,

Thanks for being a great source of information throughout the whole application and registering process, haha. You are the youngest among us, yet I have always felt that you are the strongest among us all. You do not complain over little things; you take life as it is. I admire you. Keep in touch. We will rock US together!!!!

To Tim,

You made Austin a class fun to be in. Thanks for organizing the ATU grad dinner, as well as the other Austin gatherings. I didn’t mind answering your cal questions; need more help? Just ask=) But no late night ques k? Have fun in Stanford, I will be visiting you soon. And at that time, you have to bring me around yea?

To Jian Wei,

Thanks for being a great friend, but NO thanks for hitting me in the head all the time. I will miss your “bang balls”, “shit bricks”, “morning sunflower”, “no hugs and kisses” comments. Visit me in Penn ok?

To Mei Yueh,

I will miss your doraemon ring tone=) No more buying fish for the cat or late night studying together d. No more cramming for Cal together as well. I will remember you ( I have the doraemon tissue box cover=p) and I will miss all the fun we had together. Remember your bday? Haha... At least you won’t have things like your shorts disappearing from your room anymore huh?=) I’ll see you in winter!!! (fingers crossed)

To E-jieh,

No thanks for calling me “animal hater”. Fyi, I’m just scared of furry animals. Still, thanks for making me laugh by stealing and gobbling down Hui Theng’s jelly during the Saisaki trip and by making stupid and random comments on people’s certain part of the body.

To Yiling,

Thanks for hosting us twice; I love PD!!!!!! See you in Penn and we shall go shopping in New York ok? Apparently, outlets in US have like really nice and branded goods and they sell them at a really good bargain, hehe. Don’t forget me on any of your shopping spree k?=)

To the rest ( Uma, Liang Yeet, Sze Yin, Amy, Shereen, Eu Win, Q etc ), thanks for everything you have done for me. I assure you, without you guys, life in INTEC won’t be the same. I wish all of you the best in everything you do and KEEP IN TOUCH!!! You can spam me or whatsoever, just KEEP IN TOUCH!!!

KUCHING'S TRIP

one word to descibe the kuching:

FABULOUS

THANKS ALOT SABRINA FOR THIS GREAT TRIP..I will always remember ur warm parents, cool sister and ur cheeky brother..hehe..and i will never forget the taste of kolomee, laksa, foochow food, seafood, d fern dish and most importantly, TEBALOI (I'm so loving it, hehe)





here to u subby =)


here's to us "p


p.s. for more details about this trip, liz will update in her blog. check it out at http://sakurasyaoranforever.blogspot.com and for more pictures, do check out mei yueh's blog http://brucesharky.blogspot.com/